


I Don't Want To Lose You Again

by scr3am



Category: The Giver Series - Lois Lowry
Genre: Also has stuff from the whole Giver series(sort of), M/M, Mix of both movie and book ig, This is a pretty good story, mention of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 16:39:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14877464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scr3am/pseuds/scr3am
Summary: After Jonas leaves, Asher decides to look for him.





	I Don't Want To Lose You Again

They jumped through the waterfall together, laughing. They were alone this time, Fiona not with them for once. When their laughter died down, all Jonas could do was stare at the person in front of him. 

“Jonas?” Asher asked, his head tilting to the side. Jonas looked at him and smiled.

He looked at Asher’s red hair and green eyes. The red that was seeping onto his face. The wonky colors that were his clothes. Asher gave him a smile in confusion. Jonas thought he could stare at his face all day long if he had the chance, but he didn’t. 

“Have you ever thought of not taking your pills?” Jonas asked before he could stop himself. Asher raised his eyebrows at him, his smile dropping slightly.

“Isn’t that against the rules?” Asher asked. 

“Yes, but, I’ve done it. The feelings you get after not taking them… they’re wonderful. I wish I stopped taking them sooner,” Jonas told him, walking closer to Asher so they were only a foot apart.

“Feelings? What kind?” Asher asked. Jonas took a few steps closer.

“Feelings like love,” Jonas whispered. 

“What does love feel like?” Asher asked him.

Jonas took the last few steps towards Asher so that they were only an inch apart before he leaned in. When their lips connected, Jonas knew he would miss this when he left. Jonas’s hands found Asher’s hair before Asher pushed him away. When Jonas looked at Asher’s face, he knew Asher didn’t push him away to be rude or anything, but because of confusion.

“What was that?” Asher asked. Jonas looked at him one last time.

“Stop taking the pills and you’ll understand,” Jonas said. 

“Okay,” Asher whispered as Jonas was walking out of the waterfall.

\---

Just like Jonas had told him to do, Asher stopped taking the pills. After a week of not taking them, he understood what Jonas meant about the feelings.  _ Stirrings _ would be the proper word for it, but Asher liked feelings better. The  _ feelings _ he felt were nice. Nice and new. Asher understood what Jonas meant by love. 

He felt love for his family unit, for his friends, and although he wouldn’t admit it out loud for a long time, he felt love for Jonas. Not because Jonas was his friend, but because he was special. He didn’t feel love for Jonas like he felt love for his family unit or friends, but something different. Something he couldn’t explain. 

“I think I love someone,” Asher told Jonas one day.

“Who?” Jonas asked and Asher regretted speaking the words.

They were hanging out since it was a day off for all jobs. A day where everyone could just relax. They decided to go to the river and watch the water flow and talk. Fiona hadn’t shown up yet and Jonas and Asher’s conversation had slowly died down to a comfortable silence before Asher decided to speak.

“I can’t tell you. But I don’t understand it. Love. I don't understand the meaning of it. I don’t love them like in a friendly way or like I love my family unit,” Asher said, his eyes roaming over the water, watching as the fish swam by.

“The love you feel for that person, it means you want to spend as much time with them as possible. You want to make them happy and make sure they never feel sad,” Jonas said. Asher smiled.

“Yeah, that seems right,” Asher whispered. 

\---

Asher couldn’t think about what might’ve happened to Jonas after Jonas left. Was he in Elsewhere or was he still in the community? Was he okay? 

The next day, memories came rushing to Asher. He was so surprised and confused. The community was in a panic and the Chief of Elders had to sort everything out. What surprised him the most wasn’t the amount of pain he felt, but the  _ things _ he saw. Everything was the same but they were different… colors. The word came to him when he thought about it. 

Colors. The sky was… blue and the grass green. When he looked into the mirror and saw his reflection, he was surprised at what he saw. He looked so different, but exactly the same. He had red hair- ginger was the proper word, green eyes, and pale skin. His clothes were all sorts of colors that didn’t look like they matched at all. He had to giggle at that.

He quickly changed into some clothes that looked like they matched and headed out the see the former Receiver of Memory. When he got to the house, he knocked and after a few moments, there was shuffling and the door opened.

“Who are you and what do you want?” The Receiver asked.

“I’m Asher, a friend of Jonas’s. Where is he?” Asher said. The Receiver raised his eyebrows slightly and let him inside. 

“Please, have a seat. So, why do you want to know where Jonas is?” The Receiver asked. Asher quickly took a seat in front of him.

“Well, like I said, he is my friend and I’m worried about him. Is he...dead? Or is he somewhere better than here?” Asher said. The Receiver looked at him. 

“I can see you’re very nervous right now. Don’t be. He’s not dead, he is somewhere _far_ better than here, I can assure you. Why do you care?” The Receiver said. Asher gave a relieved sigh before looking out the window.

“I love him,” Asher said after a moment. He looked back at the Receiver and saw he had an emotionless face on.

“You have no idea what love is. You’ve never experienced it until now,” The Receiver said.

“I do know what love is. Jonas told me to stop taking my pills a while back and I complied. I loved him then, and I love him now,” Asher said. “Where can I find him?”

“Somewhere too far for you to go to without training,” The Receiver said.

“Jonas did it and I can too. Give me a chance,” Asher said. The Receiver gave him a strange look before nodding.

“Five years. Five years and then you can go on your suicide mission,” The receiver said.

“What’s suicide?” The Receiver gave Asher time to think. “Oh… oh, that’s horrible. No one should have to feel that much pain,” Asher said before quickly wiping away a few tears.

“The first step in our training is calling me The Giver,” The Receiv-no,  _ The Giver  _ said. 

\---

The five years were a long five years, but they were worth it. Then, the day came. The day Asher was to go to the far away place. The Giver had prepared him the best he could and Asher was grateful for that.

“Are you ready?” The Giver asked.

“Yes,” Asher said without hesitation. 

“Do you know where you must go? Do you have all your stuff? Correct clothing?” The Giver asked. Asher laughed before answering.

“Yes, yes, and yes. May I go now?”

The Giver gave him a hug and a pat on the shoulder. “Be careful,” he said. Asher nodded to him and left.

“Asher! Wait,” The Giver called out. Asher stopped in his tracks on the stairs. “Take this.” The Giver handed Asher a book.

“A book?” Asher asked. 

“He’ll understand,” The Giver said. Asher gave him a smile before putting the book in his bag and leaving.

He grabbed his bike and left the community. For a while, all there was was just a lot of bushes, dirt, and rocks. As he rode his bike, he thought back on his past in the community. He remembered his friendship with Jonas and Fiona. How much they had. He remembered his job, Director of Recreation. It was fun the organize the activities in the community. He remembered his family unit. 

From time to time, he looked at the map The Giver gave him to see if he was going the right way. On the map, it looked like he would get there fast, but as the hours passed by, he realized how wrong he was.

Eventually, he came upon a forest. The forest held so many trees and plants. He had to stop his bike when he saw an animal crossing in front of him. ‘Deer,’ he thought. ‘Definitely a deer.’

On foot, going through the forest probably would’ve taken him a day, but on the bike, it only took him a few hours. On his journey through the forest, everything was going okay until his arm got cut on a branch. Not a huge cut, but decent sized. It was like the branch  _ reached out to him _ , but Asher knew better because things like that weren’t possible. 

As he went deeper and deeper into the forest, the different plants kept making more small cuts on him but every time he excused it for his clumsiness, until the tenth time. On the tenth time, he saw a vine wrap around his wrist and yank him off his bike. He quickly pulled out a knife and cut the vine before running to his bike and pedaling faster, wanting to get out as soon as possible.

By the time he came across some hills, he had run out of food and water, but he knew he couldn’t do anything about it so he went on. He was determined to get to where Jonas was. Soon, he became exhausted and wished he could sleep, but he wanted to just get the journey over with and see Jonas’s smiling face again.

An hour later, he saw a sign that said ‘Village’ and he laughed in spite of himself. For some reason, he felt this was the right place. When he reached the sign, he hopped off his bike and stumbled into the community. A person was quick to greet him.

“Hello, welcome to Village! What’s your name and where are you from?” The person said. They were very blurry and their voice was warped and fading. That’s when he fell asleep.

\---

When he woke up, he saw that he was on a couch in a room. When he looked around the room, he saw a man reading in a rocking chair. 

“Hello?” Asher mumbled. The man looked up and rushed to his side.

“You’re awake! Thank God you’re alright,” The man said. “Do you remember your name and age?”

“Yeah… yeah, I’m Asher and I’m-I’m seventeen,” Asher said. The man looked oddly familiar.

“Asher?” The man whispered. “It’s really you. I mean- I thought it was you, but I had to be sure. Oh, my God, it’s so good to see you!” The man said before hugging him.

“Who are you?” Asher asked when the man ended the hug.

“It’s me, Jonas,” Jonas said. Asher sat quickly sat up.

“Jonas? I-I’ve been looking for you!” Asher exclaimed. Jonas gave him a wide smile and they stared at each other for a moment. 

Asher leaned in and pressed his lips to Jonas’s. Jonas didn’t hesitate to respond and Asher’s hands found the way to the back of Jonas’s neck and on his cheek. Jonas’s hands became entangled in Asher’s hair and this time, Asher didn’t push him away. No, this time, this time he pulled him closer. When the kiss ended, they both breathed heavily.

“I don’t want to lose you again,” Asher whispered after a minute.

“You won’t. I’ll always be right here,” Jonas told him softly.

"Wait. I have something for you, a gift from The Giver," Asher said as he rummaged through his backpack. He handed the book to Jonas and watched as Jonas laughed.


End file.
